Twit & Twat Want Out
I wish there was such thing as CLT+ALT+FLUSH INTO THE TOILET, because that's where this picture belongs. So why is Horsey Montag's face slowly melting into her lap? It's because she's got the sads. Well, also her face is 99% plastic and the Costa Rican heat is turning it into an overcooked Shrinky Dink, but mostly because she's sad. Heidi and her walking fleshy pube bush husband, Spencer Twatt, have been in South America for just a couple of days filming I'm A Famewhore, Give Me Relevance and they already want out! The reality show premieres tonight and Twit and Twat have already threatened to walk off twice! A source told Ryan Seacrest that on day one of filming they complained about the conditions. The show is about a bunch of celebwhores trying to survive in the middle of the jungle, but these two dick farts thought they would be living the life. The source went on to say, "They wanted to be treated like stars. Spencer literally thought he and Heidi were staying in a Four Seasons, working out and getting a tan." They also complained that the rest of the cast (which includes Janice Dickinson and Lou Diamond Phillips) just isn't starry enough for them. The source says that Heidi complained, "I wish they got some real celebrities like K-Fed." Obviously, this is just some manufactured stunt that was created to get us to watch this desperate spectacle. Like Twit and Twat would ever walk away from a camera?! Not even if a tiger was mauling their pathetic asses. Speaking of, methinks Heidi doesn't have to worry about anything in the jungle attacking her ass, because there's not a beast on this planet (besides Spencer) that wants to put THAT in its mouth. And what happened to you, Lou Diamond Phillips?! From La Bamba to Young Guns to 7 episodes of Numb3rs to THIS?! THE ECONOMY is really going too far, but Lou had other options! Seriously, selling your ass on the ho stroll is more respectable than this wreck of wrecks!
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Today's Inspirational Quote
"The essential conditions of everything you do must be choice, love, passion."
- Nadia Boulanger
"Nothing has more strength than dire necessity."
- Euripides
"Let your mind alone, and see what happens."
- Virgil Thomson
"We are all gifted. That is our inheritance."
- Ethel Waters
