You've Heard This Before......
Water is wet, Katherine Hagel is a cunt, Tommy Girl likes a spoonful of hot man chowder on his forehead every morning and Shanna Mocos and Travis Barker have broken up. Mark April 1, 2009 as the day the love died for the ten trillionth time. Their talking whores confirmed the queef-inducing news to UsWeekly. Shanna and Travis got married in 2004. Most of you stopped fucking caring about them in 2005. Shanna filed for divorce in 2006. They tried to make it work in 2007. Their divorce became official in 2008. They got back together again in 2009. And now we're here. A source said they broke up last night in true trailer trash fashion. They had some stupid fight about Gerard Butler and the cops had to be called. Travis accused Shanna of fucking on manwhore Gerard while he was in the hospital after the jet crash. Last night, Shanna claims her Twitter was hacked into and the evil doer posted something about her sucking Gerry's peen while Travis was recovering. Just for the record, it's not cheating if it's with Gerry Butler. It's your duty as a human with genitals. Shanna denies she ever cheated on Travis. Shanna's spokeswhore also said something that almost made me swallow my tongue, "Shanna is tired of playing out their personal relationship in the press." No, she won't do that, but she will handle it like a mature adult by passing notes to Travis during detention through Twitter. That's how they're handling it tonight. Travis and Shanna have been posting quotes they probably got out of a fortune cookie. Example: ?A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.? Yeah, deep dish shit. Shanna's next post is totally going to be, "Confucious says 'Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.'"
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Today's Inspirational Quote
"Let your mind alone, and see what happens."
- Virgil Thomson
"Nothing has more strength than dire necessity."
- Euripides
"The essential conditions of everything you do must be choice, love, passion."
- Nadia Boulanger
"We are all gifted. That is our inheritance."
- Ethel Waters
